Eddie WoodIn a relationship, one of the most difficult decisions is to decide how to leave someone you love.
No matter what the reason, ending a relationship with someone you’re still in love with can be emotionally devastating, especially if there is no longer any chemistry between you.
Here are some suggestions how to leave someone you love with the difficult decision of having to end a relationship with someone for whom you still have strong feelings.
Read on to know how to leave someone you love without a fight.
How to Leave Someone You Love
1.The Objective Truth Must be Separated From Your Personal Narrative.
It’s human nature to concoct stories to keep ourselves safe when we’re going through a rough patch in a relationship. As a result, we can avoid the feeling of betraying ourselves.
For instance, we could consider the following: “They must be my soul mate because I’ve never felt this much love before.
Isn’t it true that you and your soul mate will have disagreements?” Alternatively, “If I don’t hold on to this relationship, I’ll never know what it’s like to fall in love again.”
Because of the “myths” you’ve created about your partner and/or the relationship as a way of dealing with the difficulties, your attachment and dependency may be heightened.
The “pros” of a relationship may be a way for you to justify it, even though you’re hurting.
As a couple’s coach, I’ve seen firsthand the devastation that can result from clinging to a relationship that isn’t right for either party.
Attachment breeds fear of separation, which then fuels further attachment and codependency.
This means that even if someone isn’t the best match for you, you can feel shackled to them and completely reliant on them for nearly every aspect of your life.
This is often the most difficult truth to come to terms with when trying to come to terms with the idea of letting someone go.
2. Do it in Person.
Breaking up with someone these days can be as simple as sending a text, sending an email, or making a phone call, but it’s best to meet in person to discuss your decision.
If you still care about the person, it’s the least you can do. Also, don’t be a creep and disappear without a trace.
When you break up with someone, it’s the most hurtful and disrespectful way to do so.
3. Assemble an assistive network.
We feel a deep sense of fear and vulnerability whenever we experience a major shift in our romantic relationships.
To make it through this difficult time with confidence and self-belief, you may need to enlist the help of a few trusted friends or family members.
Those in your support network can be anyone who is able to hold a higher vision for you as you go through this difficult transition.
Tell them what you need from them in terms of accountability and connection, as well as heart space.
4. Refuse to be Friends with Them.
To lessen the pain of the breakup, it may be tempting to offer friendship, but this can actually do more harm than good.
One or both people may long for more friendship after a breakup because they’ve decided to keep their ex around as a way to avoid completely losing them.” Shirin Peykar, a psychotherapist and founder of “Let’s Talk Divorce,” says that it makes it more difficult to move on.
You don’t want to give your partner the impression that the relationship is salvageable.
5. Make a decision, stick to it, and don’t back down.
There will come a time when you will have no other choice but to make a decision about your relationship.
You’ll feel much more in control if you take some time to write down different solutions for the logistical steps you need to take.
What if you have to leave? A lawyer is something you’ll have to do. What might the transition entail if money is an issue?
We often find ourselves in a situation where we must choose between two bad options. If you’re willing to dig deep enough, there’s always a third option.
As we all know, there is no perfect plan or perfect time to do this. Get moving and breathe in the future that you want to create.
Talking with your partner is much easier when you’re in a good emotional place.
Removing yourself from a relationship that doesn’t feel right for you is never an easy decision. The process can, however, be sped up.
It’s all you need to do is take a deep breath and think about what your heart truly desires.
6. Prepare Yourself for the Aftermath of a Breakup if you Want to Have a Happy Life.
According to licensed clinical professional counselor Michelle Terry, “if you live with your partner, you may want to ensure that your next steps on where you’re going to live now and have talked to people in your life who can be there for you as you make the transition”
Be prepared to be viewed as the bad guy for breaking your friend’s heart if you have a history of friendship together.
Finally
Few things are more heartbreaking than discovering that the person you’ve been spending time with for some time isn’t the right one for you.
There are times when it’s difficult to comprehend, but it’s not uncommon for people to feel emotionally attached and enamored with someone, but also know deep down that the relationship isn’t beneficial to them.
Nobody teaches us how to break up with someone we care about but can’t be with.